When Things Don’t Pan Out

Hello, my glorious readers. I’m going to start this off by telling you a personal story.

Recently, my husband and I have been trying to get a car. Nothing is panning out in our favor. We’re hearing no, or being ignored by various factors. It’s been devastating. The Hubby Man is starting to slip into a bout of depression from it all. I have found happiness among the factor. Sound odd? Sadistic, maybe?

Not really, let me explain. 

Nothing has changed in my life. It’s not that I’m afraid of change…well mostly. I’ve just come to the realization that we’re not worse off for being told no or ignored. We have survived years without a car. It isn’t like we lost anything. Yes, a car would make life easier, but it isn’t a requirement. We are still in the same financial situations. We still have three beautiful children, and two furbabies that love us. Nothing devastating has happened. What did happen was that we placed so much value into having a car that we felt like we as humans, as caretakers of our family had less value because we did not have a car. 

It’s not true, not in the slightest. Our value as human beings did not change because we were told no, or do not have a car. We will continue to live, and thrive as participating people of the human race.

Now you may ask, how in the world does this apply to the writing world? I’m getting to that.

Yesterday I talked about having a submission waiting for a response. I’ve also blogged many times over the course of years about struggling to write. It has taken me until recently to reflect, and discover all of the key elements I needed to click. You know, those little ah-ha moments we all experience rather creative or not.

What clicked for me? It was easy once I took a step back, and quit fighting myself. 

Much like the car experience, I have done the same thing with my writing. I have put so much value on having a book accepted by a publisher, or being the next big name that I’ve lost the love, and passion for writing. It was suffocating, for me, and for my creativity. I was ready to give up. To accept writing as a hobby that was better left to something I did in free time.

Now I’m not saying I don’t want to have published books. That isn’t the message at all. I’d love to be a published author, or the next huge name. The thing is…it doesn’t change my value as a person. Sure, it’ll make ‘life easier’. See how that keeps popping up? 

It would be a glorious thing to have happen, and I’d be eternally grateful for every second of it, BUT it will not change the value of who I am. Not to me, and that is what matters. 

I have spent so much time placing pressure on myself to write the next big hit. That breakout novel that will set the world in a spin over the epicness of its words. That’s a lot of pressure to apply to ones self. So much so that you will find you are terrified to write. That every time you sit down to write you will throw out more partials to a novel, or have an over abundance of uncompleted work because it’s all crap. 

I sat myself down and I released that pressure. I might not write the next big hit. Not everyone will think my novels are filled with the wordsmith genius of so many other great authors. That’s okay. It doesn’t change my value to myself. It won’t stop me from writing.

Being an author is who I am. Telling stories is what I do. Nothing has changed, will change, or devalued me. That is, nothing but me. I put the reduced price on myself, because I didn’t think I was good enough. I put so much value on being a huge name that I felt unworthy – that I felt devalued without it. 

That all is changing. No matter what the outcome of the submission is I’ll keep writing. I’ll keep submitting. But most importantly – I’ll keep being ME, and nobody can be a better me than myself.

Keep creating. Keep dreaming, and most importantly take pride in the value of being yourself. You’d be surprised what all that positive energy can do for you.

L.O.L. (Live it – Own it – Love it), my readers.

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4 thoughts on “When Things Don’t Pan Out

  1. Reblogged this on Tricia Drammeh and commented:
    This post is probably the most inspirational post I’ve read in ages. For me, there’s so much guilt and angst wrapped up in writing. When I first began writing, before I worried about publishers and submissions and readers, I felt pure joy every time I looked at my manuscript. I couldn’t wait to add words to the page. With submissions came disappointment, and with publication came guilt for not doing enough to promote and worry about how readers would review my work. Now that I’ve got a folder full of unfinished projects and half-baked ideas, I’m constantly berating myself for bouncing from one project to the next. Does leaving a manuscript unfinished make me less of a person? Does a bad review mean I’m a bad writer who should never open my laptop again? It’s time to set aside the negativity and rediscover my joy in writing. Thank you, Misty, for writing this post and for sharing your aha moment with the rest of us.

    Liked by 1 person

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