Inner Voice

Hello once again, my amazing readers.

This weekend was sort of a bust on the writing front. That’s alright though. I’m still sitting at a good number for the start of the week, 14k. I’ll take that, and I’ll increase it by this coming weekend by quite a bit more.

I’m also sitting at that point where I start to second guess my project. Ah, that glorious voice has awaken, whispering my ear.

This is crap. Your characters aren’t strong enough. The story line is weak. You should junk it. This isn’t needed, it’ll just turn out like all your other endeavors.

I’m sure many of you creative types have been through it. This is the exact spot where you stand, and ponder. Do you gear up, and continue the battle? Or do you turn tail and quit? We all face this spot from time to time. It’s the point where the story is no longer fun, or a toy. It also tends to be where the plot thickens, where the characters face challenges, just as you are.

Question is are you going to see them through the turmoil, or are you going to cave?

I have countless half finished projects that usually face the ‘not right now’ pile of finishing. They range from about 15k to 25k. That tends to be my rough spot, and where the inner voice kicks in. There have been many a time that I’ve listened to the voice and thrown them into that file folder.

I lick my wounds with a I’m not ready to write that one. I don’t know enough to finish this one yet, but I’ll come back to it. Or I’m saving myself from wasting my own time.

Oh yes, I’ve used about every comforting crap thought I could. The fact is…I chickened out. I’m great at starting projects, I struggle to finish them. I’d rather face a thousand editing pieces, that muddle through the center of a book….

Ah…yes, it took me years to find that little quirk or fault in myself. Now I have my eye on it I will be pushing through. It’s time to change some habits and finish what I start.

Here’s to telling that Inner voice to bug off, and completing work. We’re getting into the sticky of the plot. Now it’s time to settle into work.

Remember L.O.L. my friends. (Live it – Own it – Love it).

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When Things Don’t Pan Out

Hello, my glorious readers. I’m going to start this off by telling you a personal story.

Recently, my husband and I have been trying to get a car. Nothing is panning out in our favor. We’re hearing no, or being ignored by various factors. It’s been devastating. The Hubby Man is starting to slip into a bout of depression from it all. I have found happiness among the factor. Sound odd? Sadistic, maybe?

Not really, let me explain. 

Nothing has changed in my life. It’s not that I’m afraid of change…well mostly. I’ve just come to the realization that we’re not worse off for being told no or ignored. We have survived years without a car. It isn’t like we lost anything. Yes, a car would make life easier, but it isn’t a requirement. We are still in the same financial situations. We still have three beautiful children, and two furbabies that love us. Nothing devastating has happened. What did happen was that we placed so much value into having a car that we felt like we as humans, as caretakers of our family had less value because we did not have a car. 

It’s not true, not in the slightest. Our value as human beings did not change because we were told no, or do not have a car. We will continue to live, and thrive as participating people of the human race.

Now you may ask, how in the world does this apply to the writing world? I’m getting to that.

Yesterday I talked about having a submission waiting for a response. I’ve also blogged many times over the course of years about struggling to write. It has taken me until recently to reflect, and discover all of the key elements I needed to click. You know, those little ah-ha moments we all experience rather creative or not.

What clicked for me? It was easy once I took a step back, and quit fighting myself. 

Much like the car experience, I have done the same thing with my writing. I have put so much value on having a book accepted by a publisher, or being the next big name that I’ve lost the love, and passion for writing. It was suffocating, for me, and for my creativity. I was ready to give up. To accept writing as a hobby that was better left to something I did in free time.

Now I’m not saying I don’t want to have published books. That isn’t the message at all. I’d love to be a published author, or the next huge name. The thing is…it doesn’t change my value as a person. Sure, it’ll make ‘life easier’. See how that keeps popping up? 

It would be a glorious thing to have happen, and I’d be eternally grateful for every second of it, BUT it will not change the value of who I am. Not to me, and that is what matters. 

I have spent so much time placing pressure on myself to write the next big hit. That breakout novel that will set the world in a spin over the epicness of its words. That’s a lot of pressure to apply to ones self. So much so that you will find you are terrified to write. That every time you sit down to write you will throw out more partials to a novel, or have an over abundance of uncompleted work because it’s all crap. 

I sat myself down and I released that pressure. I might not write the next big hit. Not everyone will think my novels are filled with the wordsmith genius of so many other great authors. That’s okay. It doesn’t change my value to myself. It won’t stop me from writing.

Being an author is who I am. Telling stories is what I do. Nothing has changed, will change, or devalued me. That is, nothing but me. I put the reduced price on myself, because I didn’t think I was good enough. I put so much value on being a huge name that I felt unworthy – that I felt devalued without it. 

That all is changing. No matter what the outcome of the submission is I’ll keep writing. I’ll keep submitting. But most importantly – I’ll keep being ME, and nobody can be a better me than myself.

Keep creating. Keep dreaming, and most importantly take pride in the value of being yourself. You’d be surprised what all that positive energy can do for you.

L.O.L. (Live it – Own it – Love it), my readers.

Knee Deep in First Drafts

Welcome again, my readers. It’s been crazy busy as usual. I attended the Salt Lake City Comic Con on Saturday and had a blast. Next year I’m hoping to have a booth there. It was great to meet local authors, and not local ones alike. I’ve gathered plenty of portals into new worlds to dive into. The Hubby Man also got my son’s book signed by his favorite author, Brandon Mull. 

My amazing Hubby Man also attended and recorded writers panels for me on the two days that I could not attend. They have helped me immensely, and renewed my confidence in my own writing. Plus he bought me an inspirational book to which I’m all ready filling the pages with the secrets of this latest series, and gathering bits for future works as well.

After the much needed mental break I’m back into the working mode. I’ve been plotting, writing, and generally submerging myself into a fantasy world of my own creation. If all goes as planned it’ll be my biggest book yet. I’m looking forward to sharing this journey with all of you.

Not to mention that I’ve been writing notes, and tidbits for my next horror novel. It’s always great to gather a plethora of ideas to sort through, and decide your next project at a later date. It gives them time to grow into plot lines, or fully realized characters you can use.

I also have an upcoming anthology piece to get plotted. Plus, and this is a huge plus, I’m waiting to hear back from a publisher on rather my submission has been accepted. That has to be the most nerve wracking part of submitting – the waiting.

Until next time, readers.

L.O.L. (Live it – Own it – Love it)